I wonder why Enya wants to add another player to her “delicate balance” and so does Bjorn (for very different reasons). While I’m not entirely happy with the art on this page there’s a bunch of little things on this page that add up to important. Fae’s no longer silently questioning Enya’s decisions or good will, Bjorn has spent enough time with the group that he’s starting to look beyond his first impressions, the group dynamics are shifting, and another outside observer could potentially be joining the cast.
One of the themes of Eternity Complex is that first impressions aren’t always right. Growing up I learned many very painful lessons on the duplicitous nature of human beings. As I grew older I also learned that people have a tendency to self select friends who share similar mental states (I didn’t figure this one out until my junior/senior year of college, unfortunately). Mostly this translates to happy, well adjusted people tending to be friends with other happy, well adjusted people and vice versa. Being the naive, unhappy person I was growing up, I was taken advantage of more than a lot. I gravitated towards other unhappy people and constantly tried to be friends with the unhappy people who put on a friendly, happy face, what I mistook for genuine happiness. However it was these very people who tore me down to build themselves up. And due to the environment I grew up in, I thought that being mistreated was a sign of closeness. In essence the quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “we accept the love we think we deserve,” succinctly sums up what I experienced growing up (I’ve only seen the movie). It took me forever to realize that there are genuinely nice people out there and I think a lot of what I struggled with growing up ends up in Eternity Complex in some way, shape, or form.
As for the theme of first impressions, some characters in Eternity Complex will leave an accurate first impression and others won’t because, in part, that is what I experienced growing up. Some people are nice, some people are mean, some people are serious, some people are absurd; but for all people these aspects are either masks to aid in self preservation or one’s true self. One last story from growing up and then I’m done, years ago I attended a school that I shall only refer to as hell on earth and my last year there I refused to work with people on group assignments because my classmates would attempt to convince the teachers that I did nothing (this is on the very mild scale of what I endured there). There was one person (a very sweet, super naive person) that the awful people kept trying to make me work with because they didn’t want to work with that person. I never did work with that person as working solo was one of the few things keeping me going at that point in time. A few years later I ended up going to a movie with that person and a mutual friend. That person said to me, “I thought you didn’t like me because you would never work with me on assignments.” I was surprised. What I viewed as the only tactic I had for survival was perceived by another as a personal attack against themselves. First impressions are indeed flawed and I still feel bad for what the impression I gave another was. But in an awful example of the complexity of human nature, I still keep people at a distance because my fear of being hurt far exceeds how bad I would feel should another person erroneously think that I dislike them.
When I started writing the above I intended to go in a completely different direction and now I’ve probably depressed all of you. I’m sorry. On a much less depressing note, the image on the left is a progress chart I made for a post to G+ and Facebook (follow the links to read the full post). I originally made the chart to make myself feel better about my art skills. Because I try to stay about 2 months ahead (16-20 pages, 1/2 a chapter) with the buffer I’m always releasing pages that I was happy with at the time of completion but hate by the time the page posts and sometimes that discrepancy really gets to me. This chart really helped to remind me of all the progress I’ve made over the past 3ish years. The evolution of the art makes me proud.
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to use social media more than I have been. Since January I have been posting a new behind the scenes post every Wednesday to G+ and Facebook. If you want a look at some behind the scenes goings on feel free to follow Eternity Complex on your platform of choice. Now, if only I knew what to do with Twitter.